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By Avelon B McNae
Many couples have worked with me over the past twenty eight years to improve and save their marriage. Each couple of them has different histories and yet they share similar marital issues with one another. My success rate with couples who are both willing to do the work in their marriages is 85%.
Largely, what makes couples come to me for Marriage Counseling is the loss of connection and intimacy with one another due to unresolved conflict, poor communication and problem solving skills, unresolved painful memories, addiction and betrayals within the marriage. Pain is their motivation when couples come to me. Sadly, too many couples wait until they are in way too much pain before they seek help to get out of it. Marriage Counseling in these cases requires a lot of repair work which could have been avoided by getting help earlier.
National statistics show the average couple who finally engages the help of a Marriage Counselor has waited a long and very painful 6 years with a number of therapeutic issues before getting into therapy. The longer you wait for therapy, the more complicated the problems become and the more difficult they can be to resolve. Getting help early as problems arise makes it easier for you to resolve them. Many couples wait too long. It gets to the point that one or both want to leave the marriage.
Marriage Counseling Or Divorce?
Divorce is a sad and too common occurrence. There is no rule book when you get married. It’s usually a “learn as you go” endeavor. You hope you don’t mess it up or cause lasting damage to yourself or your spouse as you go through the learning process. You already know that though, don’t you? Here’s the real truth. Yes, relationships and marriages can require hard work, but divorce is often much harder and not just for you or your spouse.
Divorce affects the lives of the rest of your family as well, especially children, close friends, and family members who may also be invested in your marriage. They also want your success in marriage.That’s why anyone who has experienced a divorce knows, the best option is to work out the problems and save the marriage if at all possible.
Calling it quits and going through a divorce should not be the first solution that comes to mind when times get tough. Jesus taught that while divorce is legal, it is not the will of the Father. Matthew 19:4-6 & Mark 10:6-9. The Father’s will is for a couple to remain together with love.
Divorce brings a multitude of losses along with the loss of the marriage and family. There’s typically a loss of home, finances, of extended family, and friendships. Sometimes there is a loss of a business or a job and of status in the community, or a loss of a church home.
These same losses existed in biblical times particularly for women who were divorced by their husbands.These anticipated losses sometimes serve as constraints to keep people in their marriages, but if there’s no work done in Marriage Counseling to set the marriage on solid ground, then couples can find themselves feeling miserable for many years.
To save your marriage and have it become all that it can be, you need a step by step path to follow that leads you back to the place of love, closeness, connection, and true intimacy that you shared in your earlier times together. Sharing this common bond is what made you fall in love with one another. You may no longer be feeling in love, but rest assured when you both make the right effort with a therapist who can help you get there again you will feel grateful that you made the investment of time, money and energy into your marriage.
Your marriage really can feel good again and be even better than you’ve imagined. Are you in enough pain now to invest in your marriage with some Marriage Counseling? If so, I can help you. The step by step path of healing and progress is what I provide for my clients in couples counseling.
I am a skilled Marriage Counselor who is pro-commitment, who can help you find your answers, and support you in bridging the gap between you and your partner. Marriage doesn’t have to be perfect to work well. There are no perfect people; therefore, there are no perfect marriages.
With skilled Marriage Counseling and your commitment to work through the issues that separate you and your partner, you can again find your way back to one another. If you are ready to take this step to improve your marriage and achieve a better outcome, contact me here and I’ll make time in my schedule to help you come closer together again. See myTestimonials for more information about how I’ve helped others.
If you would like more information about how I can help your marriage or relationship, please call me at 970-422-6102 for your Complimentary 15 Minute Consultation.