As a Christian Marriage Counselor in Colorado Springs, Colorado & Durango, Colorado one of the most important changes I help couples make in their marriages and relationships is improvements in their communications with one another. Many times when couples are in trouble, communication by one or both partners becomes harsh, attacking and judgmental causing hurt feelings and sometimes deep wounds in the other.
These communications can create damage of varying degrees to the relationship. You can however, learn to communicate and problem-solve with your partner in ways that bring greater harmony to your relationship. Good communication skills are just like any other skill that can be learned one step at a time. As in all things new, it’s harder at the beginning and gets better, easier as you continue practicing these new skills.
How To Create Greater Harmony In Your Relationship
Here are some useful tips to help you and your partner get on the right path with more loving communication:
- Use a softer tone and slower pacing in your voice that expresses care for your partner. The more difficult your message to your partner, the softer and slower your voice needs to be to prevent damage to the relationship. When dealing with difficult matters it’s easy to “fly off the handle” and allow anger to get the best of you. This is your que to ‘slow down’, so you can think clearly, measure your words to your partner and prevent damage to your relationship. Some of the worst damage to relationships happens in the heat of anger. Remember attacking the problem, rather than each other will help you get what you need in your relationship.
- If you are so angry that you find it nearly impossible to communicate slowly and with care for your partner, then call a time-out to allow you the time you need to cool down. Then approach your partner later, when you are more composed and willing to communicate in a way that protects your relationship. Your relationship is important and deserves great care to protect it. A harsh, ill-delivered word from you won’t get you what you need and will likely get you more of what you don’t want.
- Come to your partner with a statement about the problem, then move to possible solutions and ask your partner for his or her perspective. When you focus on solutions, you bring harmony back to your relationship and restore a sense of hope to it. You also give your partner the message that you care more about the relationship than the problem.
When you follow these guidelines for problem-solving in your relationship, you will find solutions come to you and your partner far more easily. Your relationship will be sweeter, more loving and more fulfilling.
If you and your partner have created damage to your relationship that you both are finding difficult to heal and moving forward with love, I’d be delighted to assist both of you in your healing process. I can help you heal your relationship and bring greater harmony to it for the long-term.
Call me today at 970-422-6102 for your complimentary 15 minute consultation to find out how I can help you reach your marriage or relationship goals!