When two people come together in a love relationship there is an important need for emotional honesty and truthfulness. As I work with my clients I often explain the difference between these two relationship needs.
Emotional honesty is the sharing of one’s real inner emotional feelings with your intimate partner. Doing so allows your partner to respond to your emotional feelings and allows him or her to make course corrections or better choices for himself or herself. It also allows both partners to deepen their intimacy with one another. The sharing of feelings with one another represents a level of trust in the relationship.
Truthfulness is about the accurate accounting of factual information about what someone does or does not do. It describes accurately your behaviors, events, etc.
It’s important as couples open up to one another this way that both are careful to make it safe for the other to share their honest feelings without judgment. The open sharing of feelings requires great vulnerability and safety is always necessary in the relationship for this vulnerability to continue.
Without this honest sharing in relationships, one partner may be moving farther away in the relationship without working for solutions to problems. Over time the withholding of important information to the other partner doesn’t allow him or her to make decisions based on the reality of the relationship status.
For instance, sometimes one partner is not sharing honestly that he or she is considering leaving the relationship, or is feeling attracted to someone else, or is not feeling loved in the way he or she needs to feel loved.
Omitting important sharing is unfair to the other partner because it leaves them at a disadvantage in the relationship. Often I see a partner who wants control of the relationship use the withholding of emotional honesty as a tactic to gain or retain control of the relationship. He or she will intentionally withhold important information from the other partner in order to best serve the interests of self.
One way this happens is when one partner is intuitively knowing that the other partner is interested in someone else or actively cheating. The partner who is out of integrity will often claim the other partner is ‘paranoid’ in his or her perceptions about what is happening in the relationship, rather than be emotionally honest and truthful in the relationship.
If you and your partner are needing assistance with your relationship or marriage, I can help you. Please give me a call at 970-422-6102 for a Complimentary 15 Minute Consultation to discuss your needs or send me an email from the contact box above. My sessions are available worldwide via secure, confidential, encrypted video-conferencing.